Unemployed Evil Villain For Hire
by Hittomi
Summary: Slade is suddenly broke. The villains he's hired to destroy the Teen Titans have failed. He has to get rich again, but how?
1. Money Loss

**Hello! I just wanted to let you know that... I don't own Teen Titans, and I doubt I ever will... Unless... Nevermind! Onto the story!**

"Argh!" Slade yelled, looking at his bills. "I'm running out of money! All the villains I've been hiring are failing!" He threw the bills on the floor. His servant walked over to him, swept the papers up, and left.

Slade stood, and walked to the small, dark kitchen in his lair. He searched the fridge, then the cabinets. Nothing. "Servant!" He yelled, frustrated. A dark figure walked to him. "We need to get-"

"Sir," the servant said hesitantly. No one could see, but Slade had a look of interest behind his mask. His servants never interupted him.

"Yes," he said expectantly.

"Sir," the servant said again. "You have not payed us in a while." Slade's look disppeared. "I'm afraid I'll have to quit."

"What!" Slade yelled. "You'll what!"

"I'l have to quit." the servant said, his voice quivering. "And so will all the others."

"You greedy people!" Slade screamed. "You can't quit! You're all fired!" And with those last words, all the servants left, and Slade was left in total isolation.

Later that day, Slade was sitting at his chair in his dark room. "How can I get enough money to be rich again." Slade asked himself.

"I can't hire villains to steal the money," he said, annoyed. "I don't have enough money in the first place!" He sighed, but continued thinking.

"The only thing I can think of is…" He felt a shiver down his spine. "Is get a job and actually… Work! Noooooo! Noooo-"

"Knock, knock!"

"What is it!" Slade asked madly.

The door burst open, and several men ran in, starting to tear stuff apart.

"What in this world is going on!" Slade screamed to the men.

"You're being repoed!" one of the men, who seemed to be leading the others, yelled over the noise. "You haven't beenm able to pay off your stuff!"

"Nooo!"

LATER OUTSIDE

Slade watched the men hall all of his stuff away. He would try to fight them, but he knew that would only be worse. Where would he stay?

TITANS TOWER

"Knock, knock."

"I'll get it!" Starfire yelled, flying to the door. But when she got there… "Ahhh!" She closed the door immediately.

"What's wrong, Star," Robin asked, getting up from his spot on the couch.

"Slade!" she screamed, floating away from the door and preparing a starbolt ( A/N: I wasn't sure how to put that). All of the Titans ran to Starfire's side, weapons ready.

The door creaked and opened and the metal part of Slade's face could be seen. All of them just about to attack when…

"Uh, hi…" Slade said, opening the door completely so you could see all of him. The Titans looked utterly confused, but still ready to fight at any given moment. No one answered him for fear that he was tricking them.

"Uh… Please don't hurt me," Slade said nervously.

"What?" Robin asked, he couldn't believe his ears.

"Um, well…" Slade began. "I've kinda run out of money, see? I was wondering… Because we've been such good friends for a while-"

"Friends?" Robin said. "You've been our arch enemy since I can remember."

"Oh, okay…" Slade siad. "But that isn't my point. I don't have a home, and you guys are always helping people…"

"You want us to let you stay here!" Robin asked, looking like he was about to hang himself.

"Well, yeah." Slade said more nervously than before. "I'll get a job, and it'll only be until I can rent a place of my own."

"SLAM!" Robin slammed the door in Slade's face. Slade looked shockingly at the meral piece before him, turned around, and cursed the whole way to the Jump City hotel.

**Poor Slade! What's an evil villain to do without money! Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Jennifer**


	2. Fast Food Anger

**Hello! Thanks for the reveiws on the first chapter, everyone! **

**Slade got the hotel room by simply threatening the manager to let him stay. It wasn't pleasant… Anyway, onto the story.**

"Skilled, smart, and intellegent," Slade said as he wrote down these words under quilifications on his resume. He had designed the resume himself with questions he thought would be quite useful. With categories like evil deeds, goals- under that, of course, was written, "to defeat the Teen Titans"- and favorite evil catch phrase, he was sure he could not go wrong.

He got up from his seat at the desk, eager to find something to eat. But how was he going to get it? And soo he found a way.

"Hello, welcome to the Happy Chicken," Slade said emotionlessly to an energetic little boy and his mother standing in front of the counter. He adjusted his hat on his head a bit, trying to hide 'Happy Chicken' from the customers. "May I take your order?"

"Yes, we'd like a Little Chicken meal, a Friar Burger, and…"

Slade grew impatient. "And what, for God's sake!"

The woman looked scared, but didn't move. "That… That…" Slade gave her a menacing glare. "That'll be all." she said, a quiver in her voice.

"One little chic and a fat friar!" Slade shouted to the room behind him, busily swarming with other recruits. The woman seemed anxious to leave, but still stood there, her son's hand in her own.

_It's a good thing I'm only working here part-time, _Slade thought to himself. _I'm sure that all the resumes I sent out will definitely come back as a solid 'You're Hired.' _But when he got home…

"No!" Slade yelled, throwing the paper on the floor. "No one wants to hire me! How did this happen! I had the best questions this world has seen! No one could've turned me down! There must be a mistake…"

Slkade walked up to the door with the sign that said: "Millionare inc." in bold, gold letters. He had thought this would be the place to start since, well, the name explains it all.

He opened the door and quickly walked through, finding himself sorrounded with dark red walls and tile floor. There was a wooden desk farther from him, and a woman in a gray suit sitting in a chair behind it.

"Hello," Slade said as impressingly as he could. The woman looked up from searching in one of the drawers.

"May I help you?" she asked politely.

"Yes," Slade answered. "I got my resume back saying that they didn't want me. I was sure they were mistaken."

"Name," the woman asked annoyingly.

"Slade." He replied calmly.

"The woman typed into the computer on her desk. "Oh yes," she said. "Mr. Slade. No, the paper was correct, you have been turned down."

Even thought no one could see, Slade's face was turning red with anger. "What!" he screamed.

"You have been turned down," the woman said as calmly as before. "You should leave now, Mr. Slade. You are wasting my time." She made a shooing gesture with her hand.

Slade was furious. "But-"

"Goodbye, sir," The woman went back to looking through her desk.

Slade wanted to puond her into pound cake. He wanted to throw her out the door. But he held himself back, knowing he definitely wouldn't get a job that way. And if he wanted money, his only choice for the moment would be…

"Hello, welcome to the Happy Chicken." Slade said. "May I take your order?"

**Aagain, thanks for the reveiws! I'm sorry this chapter was short, please forgive me. Anyway, bye! Jennifer**


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